so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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