ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
