pedialite and red bull = repair kit
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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