Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
