Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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