Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
