I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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