so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
