My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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