I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
