your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
