WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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