And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize