Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
