last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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