omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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