I think my vagina is haunted
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
