So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
