toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
