I'm lost and stupid without you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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