why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
