We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize