IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
