Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i already hear my dad disowning me
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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