Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
