the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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