I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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