nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
