Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
