Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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