i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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