dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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