i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
