Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
