I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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