what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
