Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
