dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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