Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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