U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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