worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
