Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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