Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize