I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
