so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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