Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
