An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
