What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
