i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Someone signed my nipple.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
