shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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