you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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