Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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