why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
