When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
