i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize