Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
