this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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