do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
