i need an iv and a liver transplant
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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