I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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