I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
